Hot Dog Sales Are Declining

By Tom Z
hot dogs

As we celebrate 4th of July and America’s independence this year, it’s important we remember how our American lifestyle is slowly being stripped away. No, I’m not referring to the NSA or the TSA or our ever-expanding nanny state.  I’m talking about the decline in hot dog sales.  From Businessweek:

Overall hot dog sales are declining… sales dropped more than 3 percent in 2012 from 2011, following two consecutive years of smaller declines. Figures for this year are looking soft as well. The slump is surprising in light of the sluggish economy—hot dogs are usually considered the ideal recession foodstuff.

I love hot dogs, but they never stood much of a chance in this modern era.  They’re an unhealthy chemical-laced food made of pig entrails and shoelaces that don’t satisfy your hunger and make whoever’s eating them look a little bit gay.  Frankly I’m surprised they’ve made it this far.